Monday, January 19, 2009

JUST IN CASE OBAMA'S ELECTION FILLED YOU WITH TOO MUCH CONFIDENCE IN THE WISDOM AND TASTE OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.


"Paul Blart: Mall Cop" Wins With Shocking $34 Million

CHRISTY LEMIRE | January 18, 2009 02:39 PM EST | AP

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In this image released by Sony Pictures, Kevin James is shown in the comedy, "Paul Blart: Mall Cop." (AP Photo/Sony Pictures, Richard Cartwright)

LOS ANGELES — Kevin James bumbles and stumbles to take down the bad guys, but his "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" had no trouble nabbing the top spot at the box office this weekend.

The PG-rated comedy, starring James as a portly shopping center security guard who tries to foil a bank heist, made $33.8 million in its first three days and is expected to reach $40 million over the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday weekend.

That far surpasses expectations, said Rory Bruer, president of worldwide distribution for Sony, which released the movie.

"We had a lot of screenings as well as tracking that was good on it. We were hopeful we could do in the range of $25 million for four days and that would have been a terrific result for us. But now it looks like we're going to do $40 million for four days, and that is just, like, a 'wow' number," Bruer said Sunday. "It totally speaks to just how much audiences love Kevin James, No. 1, and how hard he worked to promote this film."

After proving his value as a sidekick to Will Smith in "Hitch" and Adam Sandler in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry," James shows here he can also be a reliable leading man, said Paul Dergarabedian, president of the box-office tracker Media by Numbers.

"In these tough, recession-laden times, you'd think people wouldn't want a movie that's based around a mall, but they totally do," Dergarabedian said. "Kevin James has that everyman quality. People relate to him."

Last week's No. 1 movie, "Gran Torino," dropped to second place but only by 25 percent. The Warner Bros. drama, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood as a bigot who becomes a reluctant neighborhood hero, made $22.2 million this weekend for a cumulative gross of $73.2 million.

Among other new releases, the Lionsgate horror flick "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" opened at the No. 3 spot with $21.9 million.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Carlos Santana - Day of Celebration

A song for Inauguration Day. It was either this or Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead. 

For a day, why not go for actual joy as opposed to bitter cynicism.

Monday, January 5, 2009

A CONTEST: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ANN COULTER DIE?


Entries will be judged based on originality and imagination and not for gratuitous violence, alone. Have fun with it.

(Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and is not meant to suggest, promote, or imply that actual violence or bodily harm be committed upon the person of this vicious, nasty bitch.)

Saturday, January 3, 2009

THE ONLY COMFORT IN THE FACT THAT IN 100 YEARS WE'LL ALL BE DEAD IS THAT ANN COULTER WILL BE, TOO.

Ann Coulter Slams Michelle Obama In New Book

Huffington Post   |  Katherine Thomson   |   January 3, 2009 09:03 AM


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More details of Ann Coulter's next book, Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on Americaare out revealing how Coulter slams Michelle Obama for her style while applauding that of Cindy McCain.

The Daily News reports:

Coulter wrote, "Her obvious imitation of Jackie O's style - the flipped-under hair, the sleeveless A-line dresses, the short strands of fake pearls - would have been laughable if done by anyone other than a media-designated saint."

Coulter said Cindy McCain, the wife of vanquished GOP nominee John McCain, "dressed well without freakishly imitating famous First Ladies in history."

Coulter facetiously and snidely refers to Michelle Obama as a "saint" and "Mother Teresa" and suggests that her public service career "advanced in lockstep with the political advancement of her husband."

previous excerpt from November revealed that Coulter refers to President-Elect Obama as "B. Hussein Obama" and mocks the media's love affair for him.

The book goes on sale Tuesday January 6.

No word if her jaw is still wired shut.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

PUFFIN, PLEASE!


Mr. Hefner, it's time to stop playing at being a player. You were an icon in your day. Hell, my dad took me to dinner for my 14th birthday at the New York Playboy Club and I still can't shake the smile every time I think about it. You challenged sexual taboos, the interviews were cool as shit, and you made it possible for an entire generation of young adults to begin jerking off to their first glance at an image of the real things. You lived most men's fantasy. But it's time to stop. Major league pitchers know when they can no longer throw the heat, then it's time to take that final walk off the mound, doff your cap to the crowd and stroll into the dugout with your memories and your dignity.

The Girls Next Door is amusing but no one's buying the bullshit that you were actually sleeping with three women. And only a retard would believe you're banging 19-year-old twins. When the high, hard one becomes the low, soft one, it's time to let go. If you weren't trying to keep the image going, you wouldn't be making your standard entrance in the ring-a-ding-ding outfit looking like horny old grandpa's gone on walkabout again. So, please. Take off the smoking jacket. You look like a raisin inside a bolt of red velvet. Lose the lascivious smile. Keep the pipe and the Pepsi. Add some slippers and a jaunty cap. But, please, Hef. Enough. It's getting silly. Like a thoroughbred horse giving rides at a kiddie birthday party. 

I want to keep my memories of you hosting Playboy After Dark with Lenny Bruce next to you and Steppenwolf playing "Born To Be Wild." Don't tarnish it. Go out in style.  Before you turn into a wrinkled, cadaverous Bob Hope ogling Brooke Shields. At some point, it transcends hip and just gets fucking disgusting.