Wednesday, February 25, 2009

SEPARATED AT BIRTH?



Wednesday, February 4, 2009

OH...MY...GOD!

God and Jesus have elephant ears. And Kurt Warner is a 6-year-old child. Who knew?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Pope-rah

This guy’s ambition is only matched by Sarah Palin’s delusion. Between her 2012 PAC and Blago’s TV blagorrhea, they’ve got a real Bonnie and Clyde media blitz going. But their combined hubris doesn’t even touch Warren’s. First he put the candidates through his Purpose Driven litmus test, then he played the inauguration, blond hair dye and all. Now he’s got a magazine. Grab a copy from your local newsstand for total life advice from America’s most well-fed holy man.

 

The Purpose Driven Cook Book! What Would Jesus Eat?

 

7 Purpose Driven Sex Tips: It’s Not Just For Fun Anymore. Call it The Calmer Sutra!

 

10 Purpose Driven Investments: Jesus Saves, and Invests for Long-Term Growth!

 

Purpose Driven Food Products: You love whole milk! How about Holy Milk! Not only Pasteurized. It’s Pastor-ized! Builds Strong Bones and Even Stronger Souls!

 

Purpose Driven Fast Food: Check out our Eternally Happy Meals!

 

8 Purpose Driven Relationship Hints! Jesus: He’s Always Into You!

 

Purpose Driven Retirement Planning: Is Your 401K Rapture-Ready?

 

The Purpose Driven Full Body Workout Machine: Not Just a Life-cycle, but an Afterlife Cycle!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Jesus #12 by Clairol.


Did anyone notice that Rick Warren' hair was a bit more blond than usual? Compare the two pictures. This arrogant bastard dyed his hair for the inaugural. Didn't the Bible have a few things to say about vanity?

Monday, January 19, 2009

JUST IN CASE OBAMA'S ELECTION FILLED YOU WITH TOO MUCH CONFIDENCE IN THE WISDOM AND TASTE OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.


"Paul Blart: Mall Cop" Wins With Shocking $34 Million

CHRISTY LEMIRE | January 18, 2009 02:39 PM EST | AP

Compare other versions »

In this image released by Sony Pictures, Kevin James is shown in the comedy, "Paul Blart: Mall Cop." (AP Photo/Sony Pictures, Richard Cartwright)

LOS ANGELES — Kevin James bumbles and stumbles to take down the bad guys, but his "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" had no trouble nabbing the top spot at the box office this weekend.

The PG-rated comedy, starring James as a portly shopping center security guard who tries to foil a bank heist, made $33.8 million in its first three days and is expected to reach $40 million over the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday weekend.

That far surpasses expectations, said Rory Bruer, president of worldwide distribution for Sony, which released the movie.

"We had a lot of screenings as well as tracking that was good on it. We were hopeful we could do in the range of $25 million for four days and that would have been a terrific result for us. But now it looks like we're going to do $40 million for four days, and that is just, like, a 'wow' number," Bruer said Sunday. "It totally speaks to just how much audiences love Kevin James, No. 1, and how hard he worked to promote this film."

After proving his value as a sidekick to Will Smith in "Hitch" and Adam Sandler in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry," James shows here he can also be a reliable leading man, said Paul Dergarabedian, president of the box-office tracker Media by Numbers.

"In these tough, recession-laden times, you'd think people wouldn't want a movie that's based around a mall, but they totally do," Dergarabedian said. "Kevin James has that everyman quality. People relate to him."

Last week's No. 1 movie, "Gran Torino," dropped to second place but only by 25 percent. The Warner Bros. drama, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood as a bigot who becomes a reluctant neighborhood hero, made $22.2 million this weekend for a cumulative gross of $73.2 million.

Among other new releases, the Lionsgate horror flick "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" opened at the No. 3 spot with $21.9 million.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Carlos Santana - Day of Celebration

A song for Inauguration Day. It was either this or Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead. 

For a day, why not go for actual joy as opposed to bitter cynicism.