The GOP race for the nomination is closer to being officially on after the recent CPAC convention. Haven't seen a collection of losers like that since...the last CPAC convention. Bloated frog Trump with that soft serve scoop on his head, the plastic wife and the 2 kids who fought their way to the top... from the top. Crazy eyes killa Michelle Bachmann. Ayn Rand's illegitimate son, Ron Paul. Hayley "the south will rise again" Barbour. Preacher Huck, Mitt Romney aka Vanilla Ice, who was for health care before he was against it. Tim Pawlenty-- the white Bobby Jindal. Missing from the festivities was politics' answer to Lady Gaga -- Sarah Palin, who can have her teen mom baby girl Google all the economic facts she wants, she's still not prezidential. Although beware, 'cause they could always run her for Veep again, trading on her popularity to keep the baggers in line which could, theoretically, put her 8 years away from what could be perceived as a legitimate run at the White House. I know. Scares the tits off me, too. The GOP needs a credible candidate. Someone to step up and lose respectably to the president in 2012. That is why I hereby announce my candidacy for president of the United States. Yeah, I know. There's a problem. I'm not 35. So, what. If these people are seriously considering choosing a candidate from this crew of bible thumpers, loons, dingbats, jowly good ol' boys, assorted country club multi millionaires, and a real estate mogul/reality TV host/media whore, then I say let's fuck the law. Amend the Constitution. Waive the age requirement and throw it open, baby! C'mon! Join me in Iowa. You know she'll be there. Photo bomb her rallies! Start making signs around my new campaign slogan:
TRIG IN 2012!
WHY NOT THE 'TARD?
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