Tuesday, June 24, 2008

SCREW THE EVANGELICAL VOTE!

Would someone who knows someone at CNN please pass on a request that they cease and desist from treating anything James Dobson says as news? This intellectual shitkicker may have puffed himself up enough to think he’s got enough moral highground to evaluate the authenticity of the candidates, but does CNN have to back up his bullshit by putting him on the air? Falwell may have gone and built himself a voting block once, but Falwell’s dead. And frankly he can take his flock with him. Let McCain lick the barbecue sauce off the jowls of the Robertsons, Hagees and Dobsons of the world, as he flip flops from calling them agents of intolerance to angels of support. In the best of all possible worlds, candidates and news organizations wouldn’t pander to the dumb vote. The moron vote. The ignorant vote. Instead they would say: screw ‘em.

Screw soliciting the opinions of anyone whose sense of values stems from the learnin’ they got at an institution as inherently oxymoronic as Bible College. Screw the literal-minded clods and their comically transparent efforts to wedge a pseudo science, whether it’s called Creationism or Intelligent Design into a school curriculum. Screw those whose brains have been washed from birth with notions of the Bible as history instead of metaphor and poetry, and who therefore can’t cipher their way to even the most simple of conclusions that if religion is to have any meaning at all, it must be grounded in compassion. Not intolerance. In knowledge. Not superstition. In morality. Not moralizing. In wisdom, not willful ignorance and blind obedience. Anyone… regardless of whether they call themselves Pastor or Reverend, and no matter how many million suckers are in their TV ministry… anyone who actually advances the notion that God wants you to vote Republican to protect the country against the abortionists and homosexuals should not be advising the electorate or counseling presidents. They should be strapped to a gurney in a sanitarium with a Lithium I.V.

How did this country become so colossally retarded? Sure, there will always be the lunatic fringe. The snake handlers and revival tent hucksters. But they belong on the fringe. Not playing host to presidential candidates. Or advising politicians. Or on CNN making any comment whatsoever that has to do with public policy. Unfortunately, that’s not our political reality. It’s clear Obama is reaching out for the evangelicals with words like values, and faith and family stitched into his latest speech. That’s fine. A vote’s a vote. And it should be obvious to anyone with ears that Obama is a moral man, which is why he may get many of those votes. But it’s not up to cartoon characters like James Dobson to evaluate the sincerity of his message. Nor is it the place of a news organization to stick him on TV as an authority, simply because morons listen to what he says. 

 

 

Friday, June 13, 2008

ASS CLOWN OF THE WEEK

WHAT, WAS "FIRST HO" TOO ROUGH?

UPDATE: Politico Reports that 

Fox addresses baby mama drama: Producer used "poor judgment"

Since Salon's Alex Koppelman caught Fox News characterizing Michelle Obama as "Obama's Baby Mama," there's been an uproar over use of such an offensive term.

"A producer on the program exercised poor judgment in using this chyron during the segment," said Fox's Senior Vice President of Programming Bill Shine, in a statement to Politico.

NO, "POOR JUDGMENT" IS ORDERING RED WINE WITH FISH. THIS IS SIMPLY MORE RACIST BULLSHIT FROM FUCKED NEWS. I GUESS THE TERRORIST FIST BUMP JUST DIDN'T LAND SO THEY NEED TO LOWER THE BAR A BIT FURTHER. WE ARE NOW OFF TO THE SWIFT BOAT RACES. 

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ORIGINAL REPORT:
As if implicating her as one half of a "terrorist...


Saturday, June 7, 2008

ASS CLOWN OF THE WEEK -- TOM DELAY


Tom DeLay: 'Unless Obama Proves Me Wrong, He's A Marxist'

The Hill   |   June 6, 2008 11:27 AM

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Former House Republican Leader Tom DeLay (Texas) called Barack Obama a "Marxist" on the Mike Gallagher radio show Thursday.

Explaining that Obama clinching the Democratic nomination is a good thing for John McCain, DeLay said Obama's "weakness" is that "nobody knows him."

"And if McCain does not define him as what he is -- hey, I have said publicly, and I will again, that unless he proves me wrong, he is a Marxist," DeLay said.

Friday, June 6, 2008

TO THE HILLARY SUPPORTERS WHO CLAIM THEY'LL VOTE FOR MCCAIN: GET OVER YOURSELVES.

Ok, so the great female hope flew high for a while, but then fell back to Earth. She got smacked down by the electoral process, not the glass ceiling. Still, are you so spurned that the voters broke up with her that you’re ready to put on your sluttiest dress, head to some Republican dive bar, and revenge-fuck the oldest, meanest, pastiest, craggy-tooth stranger you can find? Are you really ready to sleep with John McCain just to make the world pay for dumping your best girlfriend?

If you expect people to believe your support for Hillary was based on a passionate belief that she could heal the wounds inflicted on the world by 8 years of Bushco, you must know that any substantial differences between Hillary and Obama pale in comparison to those between Obama and McCain.

I am an Obama supporter. If he isn’t the most intelligent, inspiring, compassionate politician to hit the public highway in years, he’s doing the greatest impression of one I’ve ever seen. But if he had lost, I would’ve supported Hillary in a heartbeat. Milestones aside, this election isn’t about gender or race. It’s about triage. The country is bleeding. Do you really want to refuse help because you don’t like the sex of the paramedic?

I know it hurts to have your heart broken, but consider this:

Somewhere in the country is a 17-year-old girl who will graduate high school and enter the military as her only solid option. If she gets sent to Iraq and killed, what would you say to her mother?

Or maybe she has a younger sister who just started dating and will get pregnant in 3 years. Will she still have the right to an abortion?

Or maybe her mother is a single mom who saved for years to buy a home but is about to lose it to foreclosure.

Or maybe her aunt will get diagnosed with breast cancer and lose her health insurance.

Why not put the slutty dress back in the closet and nurse your pain some other way? Don’t take it out on the world. How would you feel waking up in bed with John McCain, sad and hungover, and walking back home to a country in ruin. That would truly be the walk of shame.