Madonna’s private plane landed in Malawi so that she could bring home another black kid. Apparently, she’s not satisfied with just the one. Maybe it’s a matched set kind of thing. Or maybe she’s trying to paper the house for her next movie premiere. Or maybe, just maybe it’s part of a friendly competition between her, Mia Farrow, and Angelina Jolie, over who can adopt their own U.N. When I was growing up, everyone collected baseball cards. We’d sit on the porch and play “got ‘im, need ‘im,” which went along the lines of someone naming a player and everyone flipping through their stack to see whether they had ‘im, or needed ‘im. Is that what this is?
African kid?
Madonna: Got ‘im.
Mia: Got ‘im.
Angelina: Got ‘im.
Asian Kid?
Angelina: Got ‘im.
Madonna: Need ‘im.
Mia: Got ‘im.
Adopted white kid?
Angelina: Need ‘im.
Madonna: Need ‘im.
Mia: Got ‘im.
Natural White Kid?
Angelina: Got ‘im.
Mia: Got ‘im.
Madonna: Got ‘im.
And from there it just goes on…
Still with the father of the natural white kid?
Angelina: Got ‘im.
Mia: Need ‘im.
Madonna: Need ‘im.
Film career?
Madonna: Need it.
Mia: Had it. Need ‘it.
Angelina: Got it.
Pseudo religious affectation to show I’m not a filthy rich narcissist but truly
a spiritual person?
Mia: Need it.
Angelina: Need it.
Madonna: Got it.
Genius filmmaker ex husband/boyrfriend?
Angelina: Did you see Slingblade?…
Madonna: Did you see Into The Wild? Did you see Snatch?…
Mia: What, are you fucking kidding me?
Ridiculously young boyfriend to show I’ve still got it?
Mia: Need it.
Madonna: Got it.
Angelina: What, are you fucking kidding me?
