A very funny new book. Check it out.
http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Our-Bodies-Junk/dp/0307592162/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269896305&sr=1-1
"Finally, someone has managed to find the hilarious flip side to the unspeakable tragedy we all know as 'human sexuality'.
-- Jon Stewart
"The perfect coffee table book for people with sexually inadequate houseguests."
-- Stephen Colbert
"Possibly the most irresponsible book written on the subject of sexuality since The Berenstain Bears Host a Key Party."
--Conan O'Brien
"If I had only read this book when I first started having sex, its wit and wisdom would have changed my life in so many positive ways that I would have become the six foot tall blond I was meant to be much, much sooner."
-- Merrill Markoe , author of Merrill Markoe's Guide To Love
"Whether you're a sexual Einstein (know a lot, never have it), or a sexual Tiger Woods (great golfer, have lots of it), this book will hold tons of embarrassing revelations for you. Quickly buy it and take it home, because right now the bookstore security camera is watching you reading it."
-- Bob Odenkirk , co-creator and star of "Mr. Show"
"If you absolutely must buy ONE sexbook this year that is as informative as it is disgusting THIS should be the one. Or not."
-- Buck Henry , screenwriter of The Graduate and To Die For
"Why, this is incredible. I...I've never seen anything like it. Jane! Michael! Father! Aunt Sarah! Constable! Little Bill! Arsenio! Cookie! Come quick!!!"
-- Robert Smigel , "Saturday TV Funhouse", Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
"So, so funny. This book disproves the old conventional wisdom that sex is a poor subject for humor."
--DC Pierson (Author, The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep And Never Had To)
Friday, September 10, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Reverend Terry Jones - Relignoramus
One reason many people have soured on religion is the collection of villains, thieves, scoundrels, and morons whose actions and comments demonstrate a perverted sense of its meaning and purpose. Whether it's Sharron Angle claiming in a recent anti-abortion statement that "rape and incest are part of God's plan." Or Franklin Graham, son of Billy Graham, asserting his belief that "President Obama is a Muslim because he was, in fact, born into that religion due to the "seed of Islam" being passed to him through his father." Funny, I'd always assumed my sperm were non-denominational.
But for sheer gutter stupidity, you can't beat the Rev. Terry Jones of the Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Fla., whose declared intent to burn copies of the Koran on 9/11 as a commemorative protest has the world in a snit. Claiming Islam is "of the Devil" Jones has been all over the media, including an interview with Chris Matthews, who I'm sure figured he'd let the guy hang himself with his own words. Unfortunately, that didn't happen, and Jones' media presence has only become more ubiquitous, as we close in on a "will he or won't he burn the Koran" moment, rivaled only by our interest in whether Lindsey will or won't get herself straight. The tension has been building as we get closer to the day of reckoning to see what this idiot will do. And that is sad on several levels.
First off, the man is a clown. As juvenile as it is to burn someone's holy book is as primitive as it is to think there's a man in the sky named God who's telling you to do it. And, and even if there were, which there isn't, don't you think that conversation might have been prefaced by God saying: "Ok, Reverend, I will anoint you to preach my message of protest to the world, but before I do, shave off that dumb-ass moustache. This isn't the 70s, and you're not playing for the Oakland Raiders." Why should anyone care about the actions of a dope? Even a religious dope.
Second is the media's complicity. I don't live in Gainesville, so why do I know about this? The media told me. Because someone deemed it newsworthy. And as sure as the sun will rise on September 11, they will be in Gainesville in full swarm, covering this non-event. Unfortunately when an idiot like this is taken seriously enough by the media, it conveys an unwarranted legitimacy on him and his actions. After all, in the minds of many, if he didn't matter, he wouldn't be on TV. If he were just some ordinary book-burning rube, no one would care. But because he calls himself "Reverend" suddenly he warrants the attention of the media, which transforms the actions of a local clod into a symbol of national protest. And, once it becomes a story, no news outlet can afford to ignore it. Such is the unhealthy symbiosis between the media and the media whore. Modern culture, if one can call it that, is drowning in non-talented "celebrities" who are famous for being famous, and the fact that the media treats them as celebrities only increases their fame. And this is fine, or at least tolerable, when confined to the world of entertainment. But now it's encroaching into reality.
And then there is the expected reaction of Muslims, conveyed by General Petraeus and others. An expectation of violent reprisals over this desecration of their holy book, along the lines of an attack on a Danish cartoonist for drawings of Mohammed. All these are symptoms of our primitive understanding of religion, which unfortunately pervades all traditions. Our devotion to symbols and books, as if they are holy in and of themselves, as opposed to repositories of meaning. Symbols represent an idea. They don't embody or contain it. Burning books is, and has always been a thuggish activity by those who think they can wipe out an idea by burning a copy of a book that expresses it. Unfortunately, we've become more attached to symbols than the ideas they represent. Otherwise it would seem odd to commit violence against someone who burns a book that contains the mandate to "enjoin goodness and forbid evil in all aspects of life." It's a copy (or copies) of the Koran. Not THE Koran. People burn the U.S. flag all over the world and it's seen as a form of protest and most people don't have a coronary over it. The flag is a symbol. Fine, we get it. You're angry. So, burn it. The country won't evaporate. And we've got more flags.
I also doubt the Reverend understands that Islam is part of his own intellectual tradition. It's the Judeo/Christian/Islamic tradition. Exactly where did the devil get involved along the way? But this is part of this notion we've come to accept called "religious differences," which basically amounts to saying: "The things I do to be a kinder, more compassionate person are better than the things you do to be a kinder, more compassionate person. So I'm going to have to kill you."
The world is stuck in this cesspool of stupidity when it comes to religion, extending not just to the dumber individuals in various traditions, but to the media and government as well, where we're subjected to politicians who claim their candidacies are divinely sanctioned, goofball ministers who think they're striking a blow for God by burning books, and adherents ready to strike back with violence if their cherished book is burned. But for a moment, let's put the whole thing in perspective and drag it back to reality: Jones is just another American idiot who's going to pervert his own tradition with an action to protest activities that were based in the perversion of another. He's not a national figure. Not a scholar. Not a leader of any kind. Just a clod who doesn't understand his own religion, or anyone else's. The guy's a walking advertisement for atheism. He doesn't speak for all Christians. Or all Americans.
Religion, in its purest form, is a system of rites, rituals, and practices that can lead one to a deeper experience of life. It is there to encourage our better natures, not foment our baser instincts. And while it may be too much to expect the entire world to crawl out of the intellectual dark ages in its understanding of religion, how about as a means of world-wide counter protest, decent, intelligent people of all religious or intellectual persuasions, including those in the media, make a commitment to come together on this sad anniversary and simply ignore this asshole.
But for sheer gutter stupidity, you can't beat the Rev. Terry Jones of the Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Fla., whose declared intent to burn copies of the Koran on 9/11 as a commemorative protest has the world in a snit. Claiming Islam is "of the Devil" Jones has been all over the media, including an interview with Chris Matthews, who I'm sure figured he'd let the guy hang himself with his own words. Unfortunately, that didn't happen, and Jones' media presence has only become more ubiquitous, as we close in on a "will he or won't he burn the Koran" moment, rivaled only by our interest in whether Lindsey will or won't get herself straight. The tension has been building as we get closer to the day of reckoning to see what this idiot will do. And that is sad on several levels.
First off, the man is a clown. As juvenile as it is to burn someone's holy book is as primitive as it is to think there's a man in the sky named God who's telling you to do it. And, and even if there were, which there isn't, don't you think that conversation might have been prefaced by God saying: "Ok, Reverend, I will anoint you to preach my message of protest to the world, but before I do, shave off that dumb-ass moustache. This isn't the 70s, and you're not playing for the Oakland Raiders." Why should anyone care about the actions of a dope? Even a religious dope.
Second is the media's complicity. I don't live in Gainesville, so why do I know about this? The media told me. Because someone deemed it newsworthy. And as sure as the sun will rise on September 11, they will be in Gainesville in full swarm, covering this non-event. Unfortunately when an idiot like this is taken seriously enough by the media, it conveys an unwarranted legitimacy on him and his actions. After all, in the minds of many, if he didn't matter, he wouldn't be on TV. If he were just some ordinary book-burning rube, no one would care. But because he calls himself "Reverend" suddenly he warrants the attention of the media, which transforms the actions of a local clod into a symbol of national protest. And, once it becomes a story, no news outlet can afford to ignore it. Such is the unhealthy symbiosis between the media and the media whore. Modern culture, if one can call it that, is drowning in non-talented "celebrities" who are famous for being famous, and the fact that the media treats them as celebrities only increases their fame. And this is fine, or at least tolerable, when confined to the world of entertainment. But now it's encroaching into reality.
And then there is the expected reaction of Muslims, conveyed by General Petraeus and others. An expectation of violent reprisals over this desecration of their holy book, along the lines of an attack on a Danish cartoonist for drawings of Mohammed. All these are symptoms of our primitive understanding of religion, which unfortunately pervades all traditions. Our devotion to symbols and books, as if they are holy in and of themselves, as opposed to repositories of meaning. Symbols represent an idea. They don't embody or contain it. Burning books is, and has always been a thuggish activity by those who think they can wipe out an idea by burning a copy of a book that expresses it. Unfortunately, we've become more attached to symbols than the ideas they represent. Otherwise it would seem odd to commit violence against someone who burns a book that contains the mandate to "enjoin goodness and forbid evil in all aspects of life." It's a copy (or copies) of the Koran. Not THE Koran. People burn the U.S. flag all over the world and it's seen as a form of protest and most people don't have a coronary over it. The flag is a symbol. Fine, we get it. You're angry. So, burn it. The country won't evaporate. And we've got more flags.
I also doubt the Reverend understands that Islam is part of his own intellectual tradition. It's the Judeo/Christian/Islamic tradition. Exactly where did the devil get involved along the way? But this is part of this notion we've come to accept called "religious differences," which basically amounts to saying: "The things I do to be a kinder, more compassionate person are better than the things you do to be a kinder, more compassionate person. So I'm going to have to kill you."
The world is stuck in this cesspool of stupidity when it comes to religion, extending not just to the dumber individuals in various traditions, but to the media and government as well, where we're subjected to politicians who claim their candidacies are divinely sanctioned, goofball ministers who think they're striking a blow for God by burning books, and adherents ready to strike back with violence if their cherished book is burned. But for a moment, let's put the whole thing in perspective and drag it back to reality: Jones is just another American idiot who's going to pervert his own tradition with an action to protest activities that were based in the perversion of another. He's not a national figure. Not a scholar. Not a leader of any kind. Just a clod who doesn't understand his own religion, or anyone else's. The guy's a walking advertisement for atheism. He doesn't speak for all Christians. Or all Americans.
Religion, in its purest form, is a system of rites, rituals, and practices that can lead one to a deeper experience of life. It is there to encourage our better natures, not foment our baser instincts. And while it may be too much to expect the entire world to crawl out of the intellectual dark ages in its understanding of religion, how about as a means of world-wide counter protest, decent, intelligent people of all religious or intellectual persuasions, including those in the media, make a commitment to come together on this sad anniversary and simply ignore this asshole.
Friday, September 3, 2010
The 2010 Elections: Depth Takes A Holiday.
As throngs of fat, angry white people crowded Washington to heed the lunatic ravings of a pudgy, angry white guy who clearly didn't get beaten up enough in high school, and while John Boehner measures the drapes in the Speaker's office, recent polls reflect the prospect of Republican victory in the mid-terms. Republicans hope to take back their country and restore its honor. The question is: take is back from whom? And who is the "they" who have lost it? And what is this mythical time of "honor" to which we need to go back? The lackadaisical, pre-civil rights Eisenhower 50s? Or the Reagan 80s, when we charged ourselves into the illusion of prosperity? Still, you have to give credit where it's due. These people do not quit.
From day one of this administration, the single goal of Republicans was to get back in power. Screw the mess they made of things. Screw any attempt by the administration to fix it. Like it was drugs they were being offered, they just said no and rode the obstructionist train to get back in power. And that meant tearing down a popular president. And by any means necessary. Democrats and other sane, reasonable people like to mock the Birthers, Deathers, Town Hall screamers, and Tea Partiers, as well as Congressional simps like Virginia Fox, Louis Gohmert, and Joe "You Lie!" Wilson. They're so dumb, they're amusing. Cartoonish. But there has been a definite method to all this madness. The strategy was to keep slinging mud. Take down a popular president by a thousand retarded cuts. It didn't matter how crazy. Obama's a Muslim! A Socialist! Fascist! Communist! He's killing grandma! He wasn't born here! He's not one of us! His policies are Un-American! He's ruining the country! Trampling on the Constitution. He's not even a Christian! What's the dog whistle message? Who's the "us" he's not one of? C'mon, it's not that tough to figure out. This is how you play the race card without playing the race card. But it isn't really about race. Race is just a convenient sidebar. This is about fear.
Somewhere Dick Armey is laughing himself sick. He's actually mobilized thousands of middle and lower middle class Americans to demonstrate, shout, scream, and carry misspelled signs to rallies with the goal of restoring to power the very corporate shills who screwed them in the first place. That is a stroke of PR genius. That's what's behind the smile skulking under Dick Armey's Stetson. And in classic Democratic fashion, they stood by and let it happen by allowing the opposition to control the message. They got swift-boated again. But, more importantly, they made a strategic blunder coming out of the gate.
Barack Obama was elected because the economy was crumbling. People were talking about a second great depression. And McCain was so rambling and incoherent, even the most hard-core Republicans looked at this crazy old man and his milfy night nurse and shuddered at the thought of turning the keys over to them. Better trust the young smart kid. And they did. But in great part because the Republicans self-destructed. We didn't have an epiphany that launched us into a post-racial America. We voted our economic self-interest. Fear, usually a Republican motivator, this time worked for the Democrats.
But upon taking office, this administration got too cool. They assumed the election was a mandate instead of a plea for help. And they went right for health care instead of making their primary focus from day one: jobs and the economy. Every single word out of their mouths should have been "We're fixing the mess Bush got us into. We're on it. We're putting America back to work." That message should have been simple, clear, and repeated daily: "The other folks broke it. We're fixing it. Recovery will be slow. It'll take time. But we're on it." Then, if jobs numbers were bad. If unemployment rose. If the market dipped. People would know, yeah, it's taking time. But we're getting through it together. And the president's on it.
They should have trumpeted every rise, every upturn, as turns of the wheel in a slow painful climb out of a Republican ditch. They should have mocked the shit out of every birther nut who crawled out from any rock, while painting themselves as the adults who are cleaning up the mess left by the kids. That single idea needed to be both the substance of their efforts, and the content of the message. It needed to be both reality, and optics.
And if and when that message was secure, and the economy did begin to turn around, even slowly, then the president would've had the good will of the American people, been untouchable by the lunatic fringe, and could've passed real health care reform, and real Wall Street reform. From a position of success, he could have dispensed with the dick armies in their flag shirts and dingle ball, tea bag hats as the silly people they are.
Republicans love crowing about the dangers of underestimating the American people. But there are dangers in over-estimating them. Even if health care was an economic issue, the truth is, as a nation, it's not a subtlety we're in the mood for. Americans don't want theory. Americans want jobs. We're not a nation of economists. We're a nation of workers. Give us a job, we're happy. As a voting nation, we're not that deep. We fall for most any silly shit if it's repeated often enough and put in simple enough terms. And has a sidebar of fear. Like when the government wants to go to war. They flash pictures of some Satanic, mustachioed thug, wave a flag, talk about God and freedom, give the war a jazzy name like Operation Kick-Ass, put up a tough-looking square-jawed general as the point man, and we're off. And if doubt rears its ugly head, they put out a news story showing a soldier on leave sneaking into his kid's classroom for a surprise reunion and some tearful hugs. We choke up at this stuff and forget to question whether it was worth it to send the guy overseas in the first place. It's the ultimate misdirection and we eat it up with a fucking spoon. The same way we've bought that what's really ruining this country is illegal aliens, welfare fraud, and the gays being allowed to get married.
The president needed to be FDR, calming nerves in a time of national crisis. Now he's in danger of becoming the second coming of Jimmy Carter, at the hands of goons like Palin, Angle, Bachmann, and Joe Miller, Palin's greaseball protégé in Alaska, who claims that God is funding his campaign. They've actually managed to convince people that intelligence and reason are not the answer, and that we need a return to lead-footed, bone-headed meanness and stupidity. And the head of this revolutionary movement? Its spiritual and intellectual leader? Beckles the Clown. A man who proves there's an extra "m" in Mormon.
So, here we are with a sputtering economy, and like a battered wife who goes back to her abusive husband because maybe this time he'll be different, the country seems poised to turn Congress back to the Republicans. While the Democrats simply stand by, accepting their role as the mother-in-law who doesn't want to interfere. They're so off message they can't even seem to find the message on which to get. But despite the midterm results, however hideous, there is time to get on message. But the message has to be simple. And clear:
Republicans broke the economy. They turned a budget surplus into a deficit. They pissed away a Trillion dollars on an unnecessary war. They de-regulated Wall Street and let them screw us. They de-regulated oil companies and let them screw us. But we're fixing it. Recovery is going to be slow and painful. But we're headed in the right direction. Put Republicans back in power, and they will resume screwing us all in ways we can't even imagine. Tax cuts for the rich. Program cuts for the poor. And fuck-all for the middle class.
There's still time to turn Obama into FDR. But right now the only thing Democrats have to fear is not using fear itself.
From day one of this administration, the single goal of Republicans was to get back in power. Screw the mess they made of things. Screw any attempt by the administration to fix it. Like it was drugs they were being offered, they just said no and rode the obstructionist train to get back in power. And that meant tearing down a popular president. And by any means necessary. Democrats and other sane, reasonable people like to mock the Birthers, Deathers, Town Hall screamers, and Tea Partiers, as well as Congressional simps like Virginia Fox, Louis Gohmert, and Joe "You Lie!" Wilson. They're so dumb, they're amusing. Cartoonish. But there has been a definite method to all this madness. The strategy was to keep slinging mud. Take down a popular president by a thousand retarded cuts. It didn't matter how crazy. Obama's a Muslim! A Socialist! Fascist! Communist! He's killing grandma! He wasn't born here! He's not one of us! His policies are Un-American! He's ruining the country! Trampling on the Constitution. He's not even a Christian! What's the dog whistle message? Who's the "us" he's not one of? C'mon, it's not that tough to figure out. This is how you play the race card without playing the race card. But it isn't really about race. Race is just a convenient sidebar. This is about fear.
Somewhere Dick Armey is laughing himself sick. He's actually mobilized thousands of middle and lower middle class Americans to demonstrate, shout, scream, and carry misspelled signs to rallies with the goal of restoring to power the very corporate shills who screwed them in the first place. That is a stroke of PR genius. That's what's behind the smile skulking under Dick Armey's Stetson. And in classic Democratic fashion, they stood by and let it happen by allowing the opposition to control the message. They got swift-boated again. But, more importantly, they made a strategic blunder coming out of the gate.
Barack Obama was elected because the economy was crumbling. People were talking about a second great depression. And McCain was so rambling and incoherent, even the most hard-core Republicans looked at this crazy old man and his milfy night nurse and shuddered at the thought of turning the keys over to them. Better trust the young smart kid. And they did. But in great part because the Republicans self-destructed. We didn't have an epiphany that launched us into a post-racial America. We voted our economic self-interest. Fear, usually a Republican motivator, this time worked for the Democrats.
But upon taking office, this administration got too cool. They assumed the election was a mandate instead of a plea for help. And they went right for health care instead of making their primary focus from day one: jobs and the economy. Every single word out of their mouths should have been "We're fixing the mess Bush got us into. We're on it. We're putting America back to work." That message should have been simple, clear, and repeated daily: "The other folks broke it. We're fixing it. Recovery will be slow. It'll take time. But we're on it." Then, if jobs numbers were bad. If unemployment rose. If the market dipped. People would know, yeah, it's taking time. But we're getting through it together. And the president's on it.
They should have trumpeted every rise, every upturn, as turns of the wheel in a slow painful climb out of a Republican ditch. They should have mocked the shit out of every birther nut who crawled out from any rock, while painting themselves as the adults who are cleaning up the mess left by the kids. That single idea needed to be both the substance of their efforts, and the content of the message. It needed to be both reality, and optics.
And if and when that message was secure, and the economy did begin to turn around, even slowly, then the president would've had the good will of the American people, been untouchable by the lunatic fringe, and could've passed real health care reform, and real Wall Street reform. From a position of success, he could have dispensed with the dick armies in their flag shirts and dingle ball, tea bag hats as the silly people they are.
Republicans love crowing about the dangers of underestimating the American people. But there are dangers in over-estimating them. Even if health care was an economic issue, the truth is, as a nation, it's not a subtlety we're in the mood for. Americans don't want theory. Americans want jobs. We're not a nation of economists. We're a nation of workers. Give us a job, we're happy. As a voting nation, we're not that deep. We fall for most any silly shit if it's repeated often enough and put in simple enough terms. And has a sidebar of fear. Like when the government wants to go to war. They flash pictures of some Satanic, mustachioed thug, wave a flag, talk about God and freedom, give the war a jazzy name like Operation Kick-Ass, put up a tough-looking square-jawed general as the point man, and we're off. And if doubt rears its ugly head, they put out a news story showing a soldier on leave sneaking into his kid's classroom for a surprise reunion and some tearful hugs. We choke up at this stuff and forget to question whether it was worth it to send the guy overseas in the first place. It's the ultimate misdirection and we eat it up with a fucking spoon. The same way we've bought that what's really ruining this country is illegal aliens, welfare fraud, and the gays being allowed to get married.
The president needed to be FDR, calming nerves in a time of national crisis. Now he's in danger of becoming the second coming of Jimmy Carter, at the hands of goons like Palin, Angle, Bachmann, and Joe Miller, Palin's greaseball protégé in Alaska, who claims that God is funding his campaign. They've actually managed to convince people that intelligence and reason are not the answer, and that we need a return to lead-footed, bone-headed meanness and stupidity. And the head of this revolutionary movement? Its spiritual and intellectual leader? Beckles the Clown. A man who proves there's an extra "m" in Mormon.
So, here we are with a sputtering economy, and like a battered wife who goes back to her abusive husband because maybe this time he'll be different, the country seems poised to turn Congress back to the Republicans. While the Democrats simply stand by, accepting their role as the mother-in-law who doesn't want to interfere. They're so off message they can't even seem to find the message on which to get. But despite the midterm results, however hideous, there is time to get on message. But the message has to be simple. And clear:
Republicans broke the economy. They turned a budget surplus into a deficit. They pissed away a Trillion dollars on an unnecessary war. They de-regulated Wall Street and let them screw us. They de-regulated oil companies and let them screw us. But we're fixing it. Recovery is going to be slow and painful. But we're headed in the right direction. Put Republicans back in power, and they will resume screwing us all in ways we can't even imagine. Tax cuts for the rich. Program cuts for the poor. And fuck-all for the middle class.
There's still time to turn Obama into FDR. But right now the only thing Democrats have to fear is not using fear itself.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Rep. Gohmert Warns Nation About Gay Anchor Terror Babies!
Yet another wave in the ongoing terrorist war against the American way of life has been revealed in recently released classified documents that detail an insidious plot in which terrorists have been sneaking into this country on tourist visas while secretly pregnant with gay fetuses, then giving birth to gay babies who automatically become American citizens. By taking advantage of our lax immigration policy and the 14th Amendment, these gay anchor, or "Gaynchor" terror babies function as sleeper agents within the United States, assimilating into the population, taking toys away from gay American babies, and living off free government services. After blending in and learning our ways, they proceed to undermine American society from within by opening up antique shops, befriending overweight unmarried women and alcoholic female pop stars, starting celebrity gossip websites, eventually moving to states that allow gay marriage, marrying unsuspecting gay Americans, then traveling overseas on American passports to adopt absolutely adorable Chinese communist babies, and slipping them back into the country.
Rep. Louis Gohmert (R-Hooterville) desperately tried to alert the Congress, and the American people to the dire security threat posed by the Gaynchor Babies by making an impassioned speech on the floor of the House and then submitting to an interview/interrogation on CNN with Anderson Cooper, where he was made to feel like the object of mockery when grilled with a relentless onslaught of direct questions. Gohmert insisted he was on a mission to warn the American people that our national security is being attacked from within, noting that "these Gaynchor babies are being smuggled into the country in the wombs of terrorists, being born as American citizens, and melding into society where they become virtual gay time bombs who will eventually explode onto the American scene with style, while attempting to convert American babies to the homosexual baby lifestyle." Gohmert then added that by sending their gay babies to the U.S. to infiltrate this country, the plot has the dual effect of further corrupting American society by polluting our precious bodily fluids and simultaneously purifying their countries of origin. He warned American parents to be extra vigilant in their mommy and me classes and private playgroups and to be on the lookout for any effeminate male babies, who are slipping their tiny feet into mommy's high heels, or perhaps getting overly cozy with a Ken doll, as these are signs that your child's playmate may just be a Gaynchor Terror Baby. When pressed by Cooper to reveal any evidence of the plot in the form of government documents, FBI reports, or sources with direct knowledge of any investigation, Gohmert got snippy, saying: "I don't need facts! I don't need evidence! Just wait 20 years when American the Beautiful has turned into America the Fabulous, and you'll see I was right!" He then turned on his heels and stormed off in what onloookers described as a something between a huff and a hissy fit.
Rep. Louis Gohmert (R-Hooterville) desperately tried to alert the Congress, and the American people to the dire security threat posed by the Gaynchor Babies by making an impassioned speech on the floor of the House and then submitting to an interview/interrogation on CNN with Anderson Cooper, where he was made to feel like the object of mockery when grilled with a relentless onslaught of direct questions. Gohmert insisted he was on a mission to warn the American people that our national security is being attacked from within, noting that "these Gaynchor babies are being smuggled into the country in the wombs of terrorists, being born as American citizens, and melding into society where they become virtual gay time bombs who will eventually explode onto the American scene with style, while attempting to convert American babies to the homosexual baby lifestyle." Gohmert then added that by sending their gay babies to the U.S. to infiltrate this country, the plot has the dual effect of further corrupting American society by polluting our precious bodily fluids and simultaneously purifying their countries of origin. He warned American parents to be extra vigilant in their mommy and me classes and private playgroups and to be on the lookout for any effeminate male babies, who are slipping their tiny feet into mommy's high heels, or perhaps getting overly cozy with a Ken doll, as these are signs that your child's playmate may just be a Gaynchor Terror Baby. When pressed by Cooper to reveal any evidence of the plot in the form of government documents, FBI reports, or sources with direct knowledge of any investigation, Gohmert got snippy, saying: "I don't need facts! I don't need evidence! Just wait 20 years when American the Beautiful has turned into America the Fabulous, and you'll see I was right!" He then turned on his heels and stormed off in what onloookers described as a something between a huff and a hissy fit.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Why Build The "Ground Zero Mosque"?
As a New Yorker living in L.A, and one who has stood at the WTC site and stared at the names of friends on a plaque, I've followed the recent controversy over the so-called Ground Zero Mosque with some interest. And, as with most public debates, it's been quickly reduced to its simplest pro and con arguments. On the pro side, it's a matter of religious freedom, a way of showing that we, as Americans are above the base, gut-level thinking that demonizes Islam based on 9/11 and world-wide extremism. Let's show the world what it means to be American by celebrating religious freedom. This is New York. We celebrate diversity. We are diversity. The con arguments are less theoretical and more emotional. It's a slap in the face to all New Yorkers, all Americans, all people - particularly those who suffered personally on 9/11.
But the more I listen to the arguments, there's another one I don't hear. It's not about permission. It's about intent. It's not about whether or not an organization should be allowed to build an Islamic cultural center/mosque so close to Ground Zero. It's a matter of why they would want to.
Even if you ascribed the worst possible motives to those behind the project - adding insult to injury -- what harm could the insult do that could even come close to the pain of the injury? The injury was so devastating that the insult would pale in comparison. It would be a long way to go for a relatively meaningless symbolic gesture.
But, for argument's sake, let's ascribe the best possible intentions to those behind the project. A chance to show the true face of Islam and wipe away the stain of those black-hearted fools who were dumb and angry enough to be convinced that they were enacting the will of some higher power by committing mass murder. If the intention is to ask us not to judge Islam by the actions of terrorists, to show that we share a common religious tradition and to reach across cross-cultural barriers, then why do the one thing that would embitter American hearts even more? To think that there wouldn't be a strong, visceral reaction to the project is disingenuous. By announcing plans to build a mosque just blocks away from the site you not only add to the pain of those who suffered on that day and continue to suffer, but you enable every politician, not to mention every Idiot American with a Twitter account, to set out on a campaign to demonize Islam and score political points in an election year. You fail at the very thing you set out to accomplish. And, to be a bit more cynical, if the goal is mere public relations, then this is just very bad PR.
If one accepts the idea that compassion is at the root of all religious traditions, and if even the partial intent of this project is to reach out and show compassion for the victims, this simply isn't a very compassionate thing to do. If the people behind the project really wanted to show the true heart of Islam, why do it through a building? Even though I left NY over 20 years ago and only get back about once a year, if memory serves, I'm pretty sure that the one thing NY doesn't absolutely need is another building. The city is lousy with buildings. Instead off adding to the architectural landscape, if the goal is to heal wounds, why not take that $100 million and actually heal? Start a fund for victims' families. Cops. Firemen. EMTs. Rescue workers. (Especially those whose continuing medical coverage didn't seem necessary, at least as far as Republicans in the House are concerned.) Use the money to treat wounds that may never heal. Ease suffering. Help rebuild the lives of the people whose lives stopped like a watch that got stepped on almost 9 years ago. Give money to schools. Help the sick. Give relief to families who are struggling. Momentarily put aside the symbolic gesture in favor of actual help.
At some point, it's less a matter of religious freedom than of common sense. You won't teach Americans about Islam by building a community center/mosque. Particularly on that spot in lower Manhattan. You could teach Americans about Islam through actions that demonstrate love, compassion, and a desire to heal. By doing that, you may one day discover American partners who would help you build an Islamic cultural center and mosque in the city - and that building would stand as a true monument to our mutual understanding, and mutual healing.
But the more I listen to the arguments, there's another one I don't hear. It's not about permission. It's about intent. It's not about whether or not an organization should be allowed to build an Islamic cultural center/mosque so close to Ground Zero. It's a matter of why they would want to.
Even if you ascribed the worst possible motives to those behind the project - adding insult to injury -- what harm could the insult do that could even come close to the pain of the injury? The injury was so devastating that the insult would pale in comparison. It would be a long way to go for a relatively meaningless symbolic gesture.
But, for argument's sake, let's ascribe the best possible intentions to those behind the project. A chance to show the true face of Islam and wipe away the stain of those black-hearted fools who were dumb and angry enough to be convinced that they were enacting the will of some higher power by committing mass murder. If the intention is to ask us not to judge Islam by the actions of terrorists, to show that we share a common religious tradition and to reach across cross-cultural barriers, then why do the one thing that would embitter American hearts even more? To think that there wouldn't be a strong, visceral reaction to the project is disingenuous. By announcing plans to build a mosque just blocks away from the site you not only add to the pain of those who suffered on that day and continue to suffer, but you enable every politician, not to mention every Idiot American with a Twitter account, to set out on a campaign to demonize Islam and score political points in an election year. You fail at the very thing you set out to accomplish. And, to be a bit more cynical, if the goal is mere public relations, then this is just very bad PR.
If one accepts the idea that compassion is at the root of all religious traditions, and if even the partial intent of this project is to reach out and show compassion for the victims, this simply isn't a very compassionate thing to do. If the people behind the project really wanted to show the true heart of Islam, why do it through a building? Even though I left NY over 20 years ago and only get back about once a year, if memory serves, I'm pretty sure that the one thing NY doesn't absolutely need is another building. The city is lousy with buildings. Instead off adding to the architectural landscape, if the goal is to heal wounds, why not take that $100 million and actually heal? Start a fund for victims' families. Cops. Firemen. EMTs. Rescue workers. (Especially those whose continuing medical coverage didn't seem necessary, at least as far as Republicans in the House are concerned.) Use the money to treat wounds that may never heal. Ease suffering. Help rebuild the lives of the people whose lives stopped like a watch that got stepped on almost 9 years ago. Give money to schools. Help the sick. Give relief to families who are struggling. Momentarily put aside the symbolic gesture in favor of actual help.
At some point, it's less a matter of religious freedom than of common sense. You won't teach Americans about Islam by building a community center/mosque. Particularly on that spot in lower Manhattan. You could teach Americans about Islam through actions that demonstrate love, compassion, and a desire to heal. By doing that, you may one day discover American partners who would help you build an Islamic cultural center and mosque in the city - and that building would stand as a true monument to our mutual understanding, and mutual healing.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
10 False Arguments About Religion
1) Is there a God? No. There isn’t. Yes, it’s that easy. There’s no magical sky daddy who created us and lives in a place called heaven or anywhere else. There are also no angels, devils, heavens, hells, heavenly saints or magic virgins. These categories we’ve inherited have perverted the discussion of religion, resulting in an understanding of the subject in our culture that ranges from sadly ignorant to profoundly dumb. Though it’s not entirely our fault. We’re taught from an early age that the question of religion comes down to whether we “believe in God” or not. It doesn’t. Or, it shouldn’t. The anthropomorphic God is virtual idolatry. Monotheism with a polytheistic mindset.
2) If there’s no God then who made the world? No one. If the world didn’t work, we simply wouldn’t be here. End of story. Like Ann Richards said about George Bush: “He found himself on third base and assumed he hit a triple.” Just like us. We found ourselves alive on Earth and assumed we were meant to be here instead of looking around at a world that functions and taking delight in the fact that it does, and gave rise to us. Per Alan Watts: “Man is a little germ that lives on an unimportant rock ball that revolves about an insignificant star on the outer edges of one of the smaller galaxies.” But how cool is that?
3) What about the conflict between science and religion? There is none. This silly alleged debate is the sad result of those who take the Book of Genesis as history instead of poetry. Science explores the origin and nature of the physical universe. Religion explores a deeper, more profound, psychological experience of human life. They work two completely different sides of the street. The nonsense that is creationism, or its uptown cousin, intelligent design -- which is just creationism with a GED -- is the sad byproduct of those who need to feel that the Bible is literally true in its entirety, or it’s rendered entirely false. This perverts both science and religion. The phenomenon of a magnificent sunset can be explained scientifically -- what causes the brilliant lights, how my eyes take in the sight and how my brain processes it, how many muscles move in my face when I smile. None of this negates or diminishes the joy or wonder I might feel sitting on the beach watching it. That is a moment for poets to write about, or artists to paint. Why do we need to feel that there is any purpose to the sunset beyond the sunset itself?
4) Doesn’t the question of God and religion come down to faith vs. reason? No. Faith is an element in our lives. But it’s informed by reason. There are times in life that reason will only take you so far. Like when you’re in a plane that’s barreling down the runway. You can be comfortable in the knowledge that the odds are on your side and that the pilot is experienced and sober, but in that moment before takeoff you are in a world beyond your control. Experientially, there is little difference between saying “I have faith in God,” and “I believe life is good.” Either can give one the strength to persevere in tough times. Now, perhaps the God connotation is too strong for people to hear the word any differently, but there is a meaning to faith that arises out of human experience but which has nothing to do with some benevolent God looking out for you. At one of the many poignant moments in The Power of Myth -- conversations between Bill Moyers and Joseph Campbell -- Moyers asks him about faith, saying: “You are a man of faith. Of wonder.” To which Campbell replied: “I don’t need to have faith. I have experience.”
5) What about the afterlife? There is none. There’s no beforelife. There’s no afterlife. The kingdom of Heaven is a psychological, or mystical concept that has been misconstrued as a physical place. Eternal life is an experience of the here and now. Our yearning for an afterlife is based on our insecurities and fears about death and the unknown. What we are is energy that can neither be created nor destroyed. Our lives are waves coming in off the ocean. Nothing more. There is no soul that is in any way attached to our personalities. Of course we want to think we go on. Who wouldn’t? You put all this effort into a life and then it’s like you’re mugged and it’s all taken away. But the notion of an eternal soul has to do with our common essence, not our individual existence. When the energy goes out of us, “us” goes.
6) If there’s no God then what is the meaning of life? Wrong question? Why do we assume that meaning needs to come down from above and that our lives only have significance if they’re part of some great plan? The right question is: where is the meaning in life? Meaning is something we infer from the experience of being alive. Within the fact that our lives are finite. In fact, it’s because of that fact that life’s meaning is heightened. The meaning is in the experience.
7) Doesn’t religious war negate the claims of religion? No. It proves the harm can be done when a cunning dictator manipulates a race of stupid, gullible, desperate people. Religious war is an oxymoron. While every tradition has blood on its hands the culprit is blind belief and obedience, and at various times in history that has been transferred from the church to the state. Marx’s opiate of the masses easily becomes the amphetamine of the extremists. Though the crime when religion is used as a justification for murder or genocide is even greater because of the inherent expectation of moral behavior. Religion can be used as a weapon only when people are stupid enough to fall for it.
8) What about those who claim to speak for God? Villains, thieves, and con men. Or women. God is not an entity. There is no God who speaks or endorses political candidates. When a preacher or politician claims their efforts are part of God’s plan, they should have a net thrown over them, because that is insane. Anyone who claims to be receiving these messages is either crazy, or lying for power, or money. Or both.
9) But isn’t God interested in my life? No. And neither is Jesus. Jesus doesn’t love you because Jesus doesn’t know you. He died 2000 years ago and is not coming back because people don’t come back from the dead. Jesus doesn’t want you to be rich, successful or happy. Nor does he want you to be poor, homeless, and miserable. That’s up to you. Only in America could we conflate the two things we worship: God and money. This has created some very well off happy talk preachers who have managed to sell the notion of divine sanction for greed and personal aggrandizement. This is not religion. It’s purpose-driven megachurch nonsense.
10) But we can’t have religion without God. Yes, we can. Most people in the west approach this notion as an impossibility. But as an exercise ask it as a possibility. In other words: how might it be possible to understand religion without our traditional understanding of God? Religion has not been handed down from above. It erupted from within the collective unconscious and the knowledge that our ego-driven experience of life is limited, and a more profound experience is there to be known by anyone at anytime. This awareness -- call it spiritual, mystical, psychological -- is the experiential core of religion. Of all religions. All traditions have the purpose of laying out a road map to it, not a replacement for our normal experience, but as an enhancement of it. We need to refocus religion as an activity. Not something we are. But something we do. We need to bring religion back down to Earth. Lose the Gods, heavens, angels, miracles, and childish, magical thinking, and resurrect religion as an activity of connecting with that part of us that is not us, but lives in us, or flows though us. Call it energy, being, essence, Tao, Brahman, God -- it doesn’t matter. These are just linguistic and cultural variations on a single theme. Religion is an outgrowth of a very human desire for self-knowledge and an experience not just of our common humanity, but of our unity with all life. But as long as the discussion remains mired in silly arguments between faith and reason, religion and science, or belief and atheism, we will never crawl out of this intellectual hole we’ve inherited and we run the risk of losing the message that religion is there to communicate.
This post is adapted from a book I just published: Deconstructing God – A Heretic’s Case For Religion. Available on Amazon or Amazon Kindle.
Monday, July 12, 2010
LINK TO MY BOOK ON AMAZON
www.amazon.com/Deconstructing-God-Heretics-Case-Religion/dp/1450518273/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1277479153&sr=8-1
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