Thursday, November 4, 2010

20 Post-Midterm Questions

1)    If the 2010 midterm Republican victories represent the “voice of the American people to which the Democrats need to listen,” why didn’t the 2006 and 2008 Democratic victories represent the voice of the American people to which Republicans needed to listen?
2)    If keeping the Bush tax cuts is necessary to pull the country out of an economic slump, how did the country go into an economic slump when the Bush tax cuts were in place?
3)    If the cause of the near economic collapse was naïve homebuyers who took mortgages they couldn’t afford or understand, why didn’t we solve the problem by bailing them out, instead of bailing out Wall Street investment bankers who should have been smart enough to understand the risks they were taking, along with the potential consequences? If Wall Street is a casino, apparently it’s a casino where you get your money back if you lose. Is Albert Brooks advising Tim Geithner? 
4)    If Obama bailing out GM was a government takeover of the auto industry, why wasn’t bailing out Chrysler a government takeover of the auto industry?
5)    Why is it when Democrats try to pass health care reform they’re “shoving it down the throats of the American people” but when Republicans refuse to compromise they’re “sticking to their principles?”
6)    Which part of Obamacare do Republicans hate more: the “Obama” part, or the “care” part?
7)    Do Republicans get sick? And do they think that if health insurance reform is repealed that their insurance companies will reward them for their loyalty by not dropping them or reducing their coverage if and when they get sick? And will this lead us back to the old system, in which your insurance company covers you for everything except what happens to you?
8)    If the Canadian and British health care systems are so bad, why aren’t all Canadians and British people dead?
9)    Where are the Death Panels and can you nominate people?
10) If Democrats offer solutions to problems and Republicans univocally say “no,” why is that “Washington gridlock” instead of Republican obstructionism?
11) How can anyone look at Rand Paul and not feel that he’s got the crazy eyes of an aspiring dictator?
12) How can anyone look at Michele Bachmann and not feel she’s got the crazy eyes of a psycho lover who drove cross country wearing a diaper to get back her man?
13) Why is it when Ed Muskie “cried” in 1972 it showed him as weak and cost him his candidacy, but when Weeper of the House Boehner blubbers on camera he’s an honest, hard-working guy who’s trying to choke back his emotions?
14) Where is John Boehner’s birth certificate? I haven’t seen it. And is that tan from American sun? It looks Mediterranean bronze to me. A little troubling for someone in line for the presidency. I think the American people deserve answers.
15) Can we have literacy tests for candidates in which they need to demonstrate a basic understanding of American history and the roots of democracy, along with being able to name at least one Supreme Court judge and the title of a newspaper?
16) Can we establish “bullshit boards” during campaigns so that when candidates toss around loaded phrases like “social security is unconstitutional” or “the president is a socialist/fascist/communist,” the board issues a ruling on whether these statements are factual? For each untrue statement a candidate is given a “bullshit point.” Five bullshit points and you’re out of the race.
17) How can Rick Perry be interviewed on The Today Show as a possible presidential candidate in 2012 when he seriously promoted the idea of Texas seceding from the nation?
18) Would anyone mind if Texas seceded from the nation? And could they just leave Austin behind?
19) If God was behind Sharron Angle’s and Christine O’Donnell’s campaigns, did the people of Nevada and Delaware defy God by not electing them? And aren’t they concerned about displeasing Him? And couldn’t He have just rigged the voting machines to make sure His candidates won? Or is it possible Angle and O’Donnell were simply delusional?
20) Is “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” the title of her upcoming TLC reality show or is it what she officially renamed the state right before resigning from office?

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