Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Trigonometry #4: The Palindrone Strikes a Blow for Dessert!

Just when I think my mother the cash cow can't stoop any lower, she gets down on all fours and finds a way. Bad enough she lugs me around on that dumbshit reality show while she plays Annie Oakley, slaughtering defenseless woodland creatures. Man, what I wouldn't give to see that moose grab a tree branch and beat that fucking smile off her smug, pancaked face. Now she's gotta take a cheap political shot at the first lady over fucking s'mores!? S'mores?! This from a woman who puts the Ho in Hostess Twinkie. Guess you have to expect that from someone who's too fucking retarded to understand the intricacies of domestic policy. But, food. Yeah, that she gets. Fat = freedom! Just like the founding fathers wanted. Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, and lard. Just 'cause the first lady happened to notice that our national symbol is about to go from the bald eagle to the Flying Fat-Ass  'cause most of the country thinks gravy is a food group and that maybe it'd be a good idea to educate the seemingly uneducable about nutrition so that their asses don't look like the back of a fucking semi. Shit, have you looked at some of the fat bastards in this country. They don't need pockets on the backs of their jeans, they need mudflaps. Even country clod, good-ol' boy, and former fat kid Preacher/Governor Huck dissed her. There's an early shot for 2012. Take that, bitch! But leave it to her to tear down anything remotely intelligent. Just playing to her aptly named base. But, what do you expect, when a recent survey showed 78% of the American people doubt evolution. Maybe it's 'cause Sister Sarah loves to namedrop her precious God. 'Cause if God is everywhere, then he's the fattest fuck in the cosmos. So pork up, America. Shovel them pancakes down your gullet. It's your Christian duty.

Dammit, I'm mad.

Peace out.

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