Wednesday, April 27, 2011


Now that the president has shown his long-form birth certificate, many are asking what purpose Trump's public campaign over it has served, particularly when most sane people agree that it is and always has been a non-issue. A non-troversy. Racist swift boating from a man whose sole intent is to delegitimize this president in any way possible. It's the attack of a thousand cuts. Allege anything and everything and hope that some of it sticks. It's not prose. It's poetry. But coming from The Donald, has it been mere political grandstanding? A public introductory reach-around to the Tea Baggers? Or has there been something more sinister going on? Something... evil? Was Trump's public fornication with the birthers a distraction from a more heinous secret he's been hiding? People are saying it is. Word is that many in closed circles have been whispering for some time that Trump has been hiding his true identity in a quest for money, power and, ultimately, world domination. People are saying that Trump is the son of the Devil.

Yes, reasonable people say it's ludicrous. Idiotic. That there is no actual "devil." Or "Satan." So how could he have a son. That he's just a metaphor for the evil in men's souls. Or is this itself just a meme that has been floated into the public consciousness to distract the public from the activities of someone with an agenda of world domination? Of course, when allegations like this are imprinted on the public mindset, rational people respond by asking: where is the proof? What possible evidence could there be for such an accusation? The proof, some say, is on his head. The mark of the devil: 666.

"Absurd!" "Outrageous!" "Defamatory!" Or is it?... It's a well-known fact that the mark of the devil -- 666 -- is imprinted on the head of his spawn. This is documented in the Book of Revelations, Verse 18: "Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six." 

The Bible also says that the Anti-christ will first accrue great wealth as a steppingstone to political power. But where is the proof that it applies to Trump? The proof is in the man himself. The proof... is in the hair. Trump is an egomaniac. That is well-documented. He's rich. Arrogant. Vain. He takes great pride in his appearance. However, no man with even a modicum of self-respect would orchestrate a ridiculous side-whip combover cotton candy confection like that on top of his head... Why would he go to the trouble of putting on an Armani suit when the top of his head looks like vanilla soft serve? Unless he's hiding something. Something... that would out him as the personification of evil. Something... like the mark of the devil. Trump obviously suffers from male-pattern baldness. And while baldness has been the bane of existence for men over the ages, recently the shaved head has established itself in the culture as a legitimate fashion choice. So, why hasn't he shaved his head? Or gotten hair transplants? Some say it's because he can't risk anyone seeing what has been imprinted on his head. 666. The mark of the devil. 

Still, some apologists counter that this is mere conjecture. Maybe so. But it's not the only evidence. Not by a longshot. There is something even more frightening. Trump's birthday itself. Donald John Trump was born June 14, 1946 in Queens, New York.  New York. Home of many Jews. But there's more. Look at the date itself: June 14, 1946. 6/14/46. The first number: 6. The last number: 6.  And the middle: 144. 1+4+4=9. And 9 upside-down... 6. 666. The mark of the devil. 

Yes, it's shocking. Bone chilling. Frightening. People shudder to think that someone who has accrued vast wealth, who has plastered his name all over the world on the front of garish ego palaces may be the personification of evil. Others will argue that this is idiotic. Nonsense. A cheap, cowardly attack on a man's background and character to score points in a political fight. But until it is put to rest there will never be definitive proof. And the American people need to know the true identity of someone who may attempt to become the most powerful person on the face of the Earth. 

That is why people are calling on Mr. Trump to settle this once and for all in the only way possible: By shaving his head on national television on the season finale of Celebrity Apprentice. Shaving his head in front of live cameras in a broadcast that will be watched by, in Trump's estimation, trillions of people all over the galaxy, will put this controversy to rest once and for all and ease the minds of God-fearing Americans who need to know that a man who may run for the presidency is not the spawn of The Devil. The ball's in your court, Mr. Trump. The world is watching.  

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