Sarah Palin Hates America.

Did anyone doubt even for a nanosecond that political cocktease Sarah Palin would show up at the Rolling Thunder Rally not wearing leathers? Ever graceless, classless, and clueless, Palin kicked off her Rolling Blunder bus tour this weekend in D.C. by crashing an event for veterans, as the first stop in her national campaign to stroke the GOP thigh without saying whether she's going to put out. The ultimate political sycophant, she morphs into crowd-pleasing mode wherever she goes, even when, as in this case, she's uninvited. And predictably, the media has gone re-apeshit over her potential re-entry into the race. Some say she's in. Others, like Lawrence O'Donnell, who was dead-on re: Trump's grandstanding political abortion, insist this is nothing more than a PR stunt to reinvigorate her dormant profile.

However, speculation aside, for this woman whose ambition and intelligence are inversely proportional, there are 3 possibilities: 1) She's running. 2) She's not running but is simply trying to raise her stock price and speaking fees, stroke her ego and engorge her bank account. Or 3) She's testing the waters and possibly angling for the VP spot paired with a Romney-style "mainstream" Republican, thereby dragging the Tea Bagger support with her while bolstering her resume to set up a seemingly more legitimate run in 2020. Regardless, until she comes clean, the media will follow her tour like lions stalking a wayward gazelle, forcing us to endure many more months of Palinisms, along with her unseemly public mugging.

The thing is, even if she does run, she'll once again out herself as the colossal nincompoop she is, because she will have to deal with the legit media and their dreaded follow-up questions. Even if she agrees to be prepped for debates, her native stupidity will inevitably re-emerge. And even if, by some sick twist of fate, she wins the GOP nod, she will still have to go toe to toe with the president on a debate stage, where she will melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. However, that won't happen. She'll never get the nod. She knows that. She can read polls as well as anyone else. So, then the question becomes more about her motivation.

Sure, to many Democrats, her possible entry in the race is a valentine. But, as Andrew Sullivan remarked, her raw ambition is something to be feared. Because deep down in the depths of her vindictive black heart, she knows she's not intelligent. Yet, that doesn't stop her. Somehow, she manages to wear her ignorance as a badge of honor, and through some sort of psychological alchemy, turn that ignorance into a kind of folksy wisdom that supercedes fancy book-learnin'. After all, Reagan was no brain surgeon and he managed to lead by blowing smoke up our asses. And Bush was no scholar, and he managed to, well, fuck up royally. But, still, he got the job and survived re-election.

Despite a stupidity even she's not too stupid to notice, she still thinks she deserves the presidency. And that is the proof that she hates this country, because she would willfully put its maintenance, and its safety in the hands of someone she well knows is painfully inadequate. Even George Will stated that she's unfit to hold the launch codes. I mean, I'm all for hiring the handicapped but not for the presidency.

Sarah Palin as President would weaken the country and send a signal to our allies, and our enemies, that we are weak, stupid, and vulnerable because we elected a fool. Granted, we've done it before. And survived. If you can call being attacked by terrorists and nearly plummeting into the second Great Depression "survival." Anyone up for re-living the Bush years?

Still, chances are she won't run. That this is all a Trump-like stunt. But the fact that she taunts the public with this steroidal Greyhound bus tour, dangling her candidacy in front of the country as if it's a gift she hasn't decided if they deserve, is not only the act of an egomaniac. It's the act of someone who disdains this country and its people. Someone who would willingly weaken the country by making a run for leadership. Any asshole can do that flagy-wavy thing, drop a few references to the 2nd Amendment and fob themselves off as an uber-patriot. But it takes more to sit at the desk in the oval office. She knows she's not up to the job. And, yet, that may not stop her. That's not a desire to serve; that's raw ego. Yes, it takes a massive ego to even entertain the notion that one is qualified to be president. But that has to be accompanied by a modicum of intelligence, compassion and, yes, humility.

Greed, ambition and stupidity are not qualities that belong on a presidential resume. A true patriot would want the best and the brightest leading this country, not the worst and the dumbest. And she would put the country in jeopardy just to satisfy her political lust. That is why she hates America. Or perhaps she just loves herself more.

Gil Scott Heron "Winter In America" (1974) -- RIP

PALIN AND BACHMANN ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL HANDLING QUESTIONS FROM THE MEDIA

THE ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES -- BY MIKE FROM GROWING PAINS

This is ex child actor/evangelical Christian Kirk Cameron. It seems Cameron still can't wrap his tiny mind around the concept of evolution and accept that the universe simply happened, so when renowned British physicist Stephen Hawking issued a statement asserting the notion of Heaven was basically a fairy tale, Cameron defended his deeply held faith by mocking Hawking's facial expression -- the result of the ravages of ALS, a disease he has lived with for some 40 years. So essentially Cameron's defense of his view of religion was to contort his face and say: "See, I can make that face, too, tough guy." 

A few facts:

1) Stephen Hawking is an theoretical physicist and cosmologist, who taught at Cambridge for 30 years, and whose work has advanced our understanding of the nature and origin of the universe. 

Kirk Cameron played Mike on Growing Pains.

2) Hawking studied at Oxford and Cambridge. 

Cameron finished high school... with honors.

3) Among the honors that Hawking has received are: The Eddington Medal, the Hughes Medal of the Royal Society, the Albert Einstein Medal, the Franklin Medal, the Order of the British Empire, The Gold Medal of the Royal Astronomical Society, the Member of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, the Wolf Prize in Physics, the Prince of Asturias Awards, the Companion of Honour, the Julius Edgar Lilienfeld Prize of the American Physical Society, the Michelson Morley Award of Case Western Reserve University, the Copley medal of the Royal Society, the Fonscea Prize of the University of Santiago de Compostela and the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honor in the United States. 

Cameron was awarded the key to the city of Cullman, Alabama, by their Mayor, Max Townsend.

3) Stephen Hawking has lived with the degenerative and typically fatal disease ALS for over 4 decades which has paralyzed him and robbed him of his speech, forcing him to speak through a computer.   

Cameron never won an Emmy for playing Mike on Growing Pains. 

4) Hawking wrote A Brief History of Time, which stayed on the British Sunday Times Bestseller list for almost 5 years. Cameron handed out a Christian-themed revision of Charles Darwin's "On the Origin of Species" on college campuses. 

A few observations: 

5) Hawking is 100% correct. The notion that there is a physical place called heaven is, indeed, a fairy tale for small minds. The phrase "The kingdom of heaven is within you" from the Thomas Gospels was meant to communicate the existence and importance of a psychological experience, not a magic sky Disneyland that only good Christians travel to after they die. 

6) If Cameron were as devoutly religious as he purports, he might understand the concept of compassion, an idea at the heart of every religious tradition. I think Jesus might have alluded to it once or twice. Does he think mocking someone who suffers from ALS is the act of a religious person? If you're going to talk the talk, then walk the walk. 

7) Cameron's behavior is merely a symptom of a childish understanding that masquerades as religion in western culture, one that is based on a literal interpretation of religious texts, and sends intelligent people screaming into the night reaching for some kind of sanity, which they usually find in the comforting arms of atheism.  

8) The universe is 14 billion years old. Our silly little myths and stories are several thousand years old. Does anyone really think that a man named God created the universe 14 billion years ago, then waited 13,999,997,000 years before waking up one morning and thinking: "you know, maybe I should tell some people how I did this..."?

9) Truth is what it is. Scientists look for truth. They don't become so enamored of a theory that they are unwilling or emotionally incapable of revising or changing it in light of new evidence. Hawking is a scientist. Cameron is a believer who childishly clings to a literal interpretation of every word in the Bible, which includes treating the book of Genesis as both an historical and scientific document, regardless of any evidence, facts, or more subtle theories that may have arisen over the last several thousand years. 

And an opinion: 

10) Cameron is a self-righteous, sub-educated, smug little turd who should study more and believe less and if he can't wrap his mind around that, then he should donate his fucking vocal chords to Hawking thus enabling a genius to speak and sparing the adult world from having to listen to the effluence that spews out of his mouth. And until that becomes a scientific possibility, then he should learn to defend his silly little position more intelligently, without resorting to bullshit schoolyard mockery. He outs himself by his own stupidity.  

IF ONLY THE DOOMSDAY ASSHOLE WAS THIS FUNNY...

DECONSTRUCTING GOD -- WINNER NEXT GENERATION INDIE BOOK AWARD

My book -- Deconstructing God -- A Heretic's Case for Religion won the Next Generation Indie Book Award for Religious Non-Fiction. Ok, so it's not a fucking Emmy but it's better than being hated.

Trump's Non-Acceptance Speech -- English Translation

After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the Presidency.

My advisors told me I don't have a shot in hell of winning.

This decision does not come easily or without regret; especially when my potential candidacy continues to be validated by ranking at the top of the Republican contenders in polls across the country.

I had a momentary spike in the polls when I started shooting my mouth off then my numbers dropped into the toilet when people actually listened to what I was saying.

I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election.

I am fucking delusional.

I have spent the past several months unofficially campaigning and recognize that running for public office cannot be done half heartedly.

At the Correspondents Dinner Seth Meyers and President Obama made me look like the douchebag I am  in front of the whole country, and I couldn't even fire them.

Ultimately, however, business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector.

I'm a money-hungry bastard.

I want to personally thank the millions of Americans who have joined the various Trump grassroots movements and written me letters and e-mails encouraging me to run.

There were no organizations. There were also no investigators in Hawaii checking into birth certificates. I'm a lying sack of shit.

My gratitude for your faith and trust in me could never be expressed properly in words.

I'm illiterate.

So, I make you this promise: that I will continue to voice my opinions loudly and help to shape our politician’s thoughts.

... by hosting Celebrity Apprentice, just picked up for another season on NBC.

My ability to bring important economic and foreign policy issues to the forefront of the national dialogue is perhaps my greatest asset and one of the most valuable services I can provide to this country. 

Which is why I hit the birther bullshit, questioned the president's academic record, and called the Chinese motherfuckers. Because in my foreign policy experience, all one billion Chinese enjoy being called "motherfuckers."It's a compliment in their culture.  

I will continue to push our President and the country’s policy makers to address the dire challenges arising from our unsustainable debt structure and increasing lack of global competitiveness.

In case you missed the Republican talking points, the password is "unsustainable."

Issues, including getting tough on China

...by calling them motherfuckers.

and other countries that are methodically and systematically taking advantage of the United States, were seldom mentioned before I brought them to the forefront of the country’s conversation.

Yes. Shipping jobs overseas, our trade imbalance, and the shoddy, occasionally toxic nature of Chinese manufactured products hasn't come up at all in public debate.

They are now being debated vigorously. I will also continue to push for job creation

...by firing people on Celebrity Apprentice, now picked up for the 2012 season on NBC.

, an initiative that should be this country’s top priority and something that I know a lot about.

Hey, I even hired my two incompetent kids as judges on Celebrity Apprentice, now picked up for the 2012 season on NBC.

I will not shy away from expressing the opinions that so many of you share yet don’t have a medium through which to articulate.

I have a big fucking mouth and opinions as silly as my hair.

I look forward to supporting the candidate who is the most qualified to help us tackle our country’s most important issues and am hopeful that, when this person emerges, he or she will have the courage to take on the challenges of the Office and be the agent of change that this country so desperately needs

I will sit there and eat shit when Barack Obama takes the oath of office for his second term.

Thank you and God Bless America!

You have to say that at the end of the speech. Me -- I fired God. I looked at God and said: "You're not up to the job as project manager. God-- you're fired."

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND TURDS.

In all the discussions about releasing these photographs, no one has brought up the element of time. Putting aside legal arguments, why must they be released now? The nouveau deathers among us will never be placated. They'll scream they were photoshopped. They'll concoct twisted theories that tattooed on part of bin Laden's skull was a replica of the president's double-secret Kenyan birth certificate. For those who will treat his murder as a call to action, the pictures might provide temporary fuel. In time, however, their power will dissipate. As to Mr. Dershowitz's pov and the forensic information pictures of OBL'S dead body would provide, no one is on trial for the killing so why is this information relevant, other than to those who crave more information? I think a more pressing argument is whether he should have been captured and put on trial. We had Nuremberg. The Eichmann trial. Saddam's trial. The world survived. Would there have been more catharsis for the victims from a trial? Who knows? A vindication of our system of justice? Maybe. Would the trial have served as a forum for bin Laden to spew and a focal point for another terrorist attack? Very possibly. As for the pictures, I think they should be released.. . eventually . But from a purely emotional point of view, I don't care if his arms were raised in surrender or if he was shot from the front or back. I'm just glad the son of a bitch is dead. And if this operation were launched from a Bush white house instead of Obama's, shitheads like Sarah Palin would be blasting their shotguns in celebration instead of pathetically searching for some part of it to criticize, 'cause they'd rather shit a bowling ball than give credit where it's due.

HOW DID BIN LADEN HIDE IN A SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD? APPARENTLY IT'S BEEN DONE BEFORE.

Trump Suffers From Male Palin Badness

Donald Trump has been teasing the public, implying that he's seriously considering a run for the Republican nomination. He further taunts the media with promises of a revelation on the finale of The Celebrity Apprentice. It's pathetic enough that candidates now choose talk shows to announce their intentions. Trump's now dragging the process down another notch to break the news on a reality show. But while we hold our collective breath, the question that has been in the air since he started bloviating is: is he serious? Or is he just doing this for publicity, perhaps even setting himself up for a run five years from now, when he wouldn't be facing a popular incumbent -- particularly one who's going to ride a wave of good will and increased poll numbers now that Bin Laden has been killed.

I'll give Trump one thing -- he's got people talking. And he's got the media chewing on it like a dog with a ragdoll. Still, every time he opens his mouth, I can't help wonder what he's thinking. Trump made his rep as a businessman. And if he were mulling over a run for the presidency in times of a slowly recovering economy, high gas prices, high unemployment, jobs going overseas, a growing deficit that has been firmly established as the crisis du jour by the GOP, why wouldn't he come out and establish his political identity as a sober, pragmatic, businessman? "Let's run the country like a business, etc..." We usually vote our pocketbooks. It could've gotten some traction. He could've even borrowed a page from Reagan's 1980 playbook and blown some "shining city on the hill" gratuitous patriotism up our asses. We always fall for that shit.

But no. He leads with the birther bullshit, then follows it up with incendiary rhetoric about grabbing the oil in Libya and Iraq. It doesn't take a chess player to see that this kind of talk didn't play so well in the 20th century and might just lead to more terrorist attacks by people who wouldn't have to be convinced that America has imperialistic goals in the middle east. A president has to defuse that situation, not inflame it. Then there's calling the Chinese "motherfuckers." I don't know how that expression translates into Chinese, but I'm guessing it doesn't come off as a compliment.

Then there are Trump's schoolyard taunts of the president. "He's done a terrible job." "He's a bad president." He speaks in oversimplistic sentences ending with a hyperbolic adjective. "THIS SEASON OF THE APPRENTICE WILL BE ... FANTASTIC!" "WHAT MY INVESTIGATORS ARE FINDING IS... UNBELIEVABLE." Everything is fantastic! Sensational! Unbelievable! It's Broadway marquis language. Joe McCarthy tactics. Waving papers in the air claiming they list the names of communists in the state department. And since it's now been proven to even the most dead-headed birthers that the president was born in Hawaii, when Trump claimed that what his investigators discovered was "unbelievable" he was clearly lying, since there was nothing to discover. Unless he was just playing word games and saying the revelations were unbelievable in the sense that they were not to be believed.

Then there's the more oblique language of the insults. "Word is" Obama was a terrible student. What word? From whom? This sort of vague language implies fact, but doesn't back it up or specify the source. It's the kind of thing the GOP does in their talking points. It's right down there with Fox News' "Some say..." accusations. And putting aside the racist overtones in the implication that the president couldn't possibly have earned his way into Columbia and Harvard, has anyone posed the question to Trump: Even if that were true, how do you fake your way to editor of the Harvard Law Review?

And while Trump's fully capable of dishing out insults and baseless accusations, he's incapable of handling the blowback, as demonstrated in his angry reaction to Seth Meyers' dead-on lines at the White House Correspondents dinner. He's shown his pettiness in successive feuds with Rosie O'Donnell, Cosby, DeNiro, Seinfeld, and now David Letterman. He even went after Seinfeld by holding up the "success" of The Apprentice against The Marriage Ref, forgetting momentarily that Seinfeld had another show, called Seinfeld, which will remain one of the best shows in tv history long after the flatulent stench of The Apprentice has wafted into the atmosphere. 

And for anyone who hasn't figured it out, Celebrity Apprentice is not even a TV show, it's an infomercial for whichever company decides to buy in that week. The choice of product, service or company featured in each episode is not accidental. It's a paid sponsorship. The ridiculous fights and spats -- Meatloaf going batshit on Gary Busey, LaToya Jackson spatting with Dionne Warwick -- are all misdirection so that you don't realize that you're being hit with advertising messages during the alleged programming. It's a con. With apologies to Morgan Spurlock's recent movie, it's the greatest TV show ever sold. 

The presidency requires a cool head, and solid judgment. And here is where Trump fails miserably. Hehad every opportunity to come out as a sober, experienced, pragmatic businessman. A tough negotiator. But he treated politics like an episode of The Apprentice. All bluster and bullshit. These are serious times. And serious times call for serious people. Not reality show hosts. 

Whether or not he runs, I guess only he knows. But one thing is for certain: Trump will never be president. Not necessarily because he has no political cred, but because of the idiotic way he's conducted himself on the public stage. Lies. Hype. Insults. Baseless accusations. Playing to the worst of us. Chest puffed, jaw jutted out, arrogantly looking down on his audience, then cutting off the conversation when the follow-up questions get too probing. He's all sound and fury, signifying nothing. A self-promotion machine who's in it for the cash, the fame, the adulation. His buildings are the natural extension of his personality. Garish, tasteless, and crude, with no heart, no soul, and no class. As is his hair. Deceptive. Ridiculous. Almost comically bad. Yet worn with pride by someone who thinks he can fool all the people all the time. Trump is a combover. All hype. No substance. He's Palin in pants.